Can the expectation of appreciation from others destroy you?

Many times I’ve saw how people do something and wait appreciation from others, including me myself.  I always wanted to prove something to someone, let it be, family or friends, yet it always left me disappointed.  It left me feeling uncompleted.  You would wonder why? You would wonder why this feedback didn’t make me happy, because through it we can improve for better and I looked for this answer in me for many years.  I wanted to feel appreciated because that gave me power in the society.  It simply gave me a voice in the millions of others, but that was wrong waiting for it.  It was wrong thinking that if somebody liked what I created, I would be happier and luckier at the same time.

During the years I’ve learned that I mustn’t create something with the expectation of everyone’s appreciation, because that will destroy me mentally.  Sure we must accept critics and feedback, because that makes us more capable of creating a good product, but living with expecting appreciation every time from people, it’s the worst mistake ever. 

I’ve started writing since middle school, in different languages and only half a year ago I opened a blog page just to test how good my writing is.  By testing I mean likes and followers.  Maybe I do have little people who like my writings, but through it, I understood that it’s not necessarily always to create content for every genre.  You may be inspired once to write about Travel or other times to write about Movies but you can’t write always about everything, just to satisfy everyone’s needs. 

Every day that I wake up, I think to myself what will I write.  And I don’t think any more if my neighbor will like it, if my family will appreciate it, because if it makes me happy that matters the most.  I didn’t encounter appreciation only in writing.  I had this story unfold even at school and university.  I wanted to make happy my parents by studying something prestigious, yet the secret was I wanted appreciation from them.  I wanted to feel great in their eyes, but I couldn’t make it till the end, once I stopped seeking appreciation.  I’ve learned during that year that instead of torturing myself by looking for beautiful words from other people, I must do what I can without looking two times back.

Honestly, the words from others did influence me, but somehow as years past by I tried not to look at those comments but to continue to live my life.  It was much easier for me to leave behind people that expected something big and wonderful, than destroying my life for them. 

Expecting appreciation from others who are not experts in your field doesn’t lead you to something really good.  You must follow your path by your own rules and to be open for feedback, because only through it we can grow and improve always.

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